Inspiration 05.29.2012

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

New Rules of Parenting

The following phrases are supposed to be the most important words you can say when trying to build human relations.  It starts with the 6 most important words - I admit I made a mistake - on down to the single most important word - We.  They were presented at work recently in a management meeting, with the intent that they be used as tools to foster teamwork and encourage our subordinates to take ownership of their piece of the business.

6. I admit I made a mistake

5. You did a good job

4. What is your opinion?

3. Would you please?

2. Thank you

1. "We"

This isn't the first time and I'm it sure it won't be the last that I drew a parallel between my 130+ associates at work, and my children.  Heaven knows I discipline and clean up after the "adults" at work nearly as much as my 3 much cuter littles at home.  While I can definitely see the value in employing these phrases with my orange aproned comrades, I couldn't help but think about how useful they could be with my kids.  I'm always on the lookout for new and positive ways to encourage good behavior in my kids, and these seemed to fit that bill.

6.  I admit I made a mistake

This is probably one of the harder things we do as human beings, regardless of whether you are owning up to missing an important deadline or forgetting a promised stop at the ice cream store.  Parents make mistakes all the time.  (Unless your kids came with instruction manuals.  Mine did not.)  If you handle it right though, admitting to your kids that you made a mistake can become a great teaching moment.  Like most things, if you put the right spin on it, owning up to your mistakes can have a positive outcome if you can teach your kids what to do after the mistake.

5.  You did a good job

When you're knee-deep in raising littles, there are days (months, years) when it feels like "No", "Stop", "Don't touch" and things of the like are the most feedback you give your kids on any given day. Sometimes it's easy to forget, after you've asked them to clean their room for the umpteenth time, to complement your kids on what a good job they did once it's actually finished.  What a long way it goes toward cementing good behavior in their little brains when we take the time recognize and reward good behavior.  We've especially experienced this with our middle child who has been called more than once, "The Laziest Child God Ever Created".  We've struggled to find ways to motivate him and teach him responsibility, and nothing was working well.  However, when we started our Good Job Jar, something in Austin just clicked.  He loved the idea of a rewards system, and almost overnight, he has turned into a child who says "Yes Mother" whenever I ask him to do something and then, shockingly enough, he goes and does it.  Recognizing those good efforts has bred more good efforts and let me tell you, he is one proud boy and I'm one proud mama.

4.  What is Your Opinion?

Everyone wants to feel valued, whether it's their opinion or their contribution that makes a difference.  Kids are no different.  My kids are full of opinions, usually very strong ones.  I'm hopeful that by fostering these strong opinions, they will be less likely to fall under the influence of their peers opinions down the road.  Kids are also more likely to buy into something if they feel they've had a hand in the decision making.  We do this with chores on the weekend - everyone gets to decide which ones they will do, and when they're the ones to put it on their own list, the work seems to get done with a lot less griping.

3.  Would you please?

There's kind of a standing joke in our house, that "the please is implied", but really, it's not.  Every time we are asking someone to do something, whether it's a favor or their rightful responsibility, the "please"  needs to be applied, not implied.  Besides modeling good manners, it shows the person we are asking that we value their help, time and consideration - all good things to instill as early as possible in my book.

2.  Thank you

Similar to "Would you please", "Thank you" is just plain good manners, and ideally our kids will model after our own good behavior.  It shows our kids that while they may be small, they contributions are still very much appreciated, and we are grateful for their efforts.

1.  We

This word, for being just 2 small letters, is such a huge word.  It's partnership, teamwork, family.  It's belonging to a whole larger than yourself.  It's belonging to something, someone, someones, that know your beginning, middle and end and finish your rough edges.  For children, there is nothing more important, life sustaining even, than belonging to a family unit that sets boundaries and examples.  What is insurmountable by Me is achievable by We.  Children need to know the joys and responsibilities of being part of a We.

Summer List 2012

Yep, those are my toes.  Painted. They're the equivalent of Punxsutawney Phil poking his head out to declare springs arrival. Once these babies see polish, we're ready for summer around here.  Sleeping with the windows open, summer breezes through screen doors, BBQ dinners eaten on the deck, water fights and lazy days in the yard, frequent trips to the farmers market for fresh vegetables and sweet berries, evening walks..... I'm ready for it all.

There's just a few weeks left of school, and it's hard to convince my little bundles of energy to go to bed at 8:30 when it looks like it's 5:30 outside, and I can't blame them.  They're rarely ready to call it a day, even if the sun has, and we find ourselves pushing dinner time and bedtime back just a bit further every day - no one wants to adhere to a schedule when the sun is high, there's a light breeze singing and the mood is light.  Everyone can feel it - summer is on the move.

With the anticipation of no school, good weather and the sense of freedom that summer brings with it, we are looking forward to our Summer List 2012.

Summer List 2012

Playdates  Mini Golf  Pinata Party  Crabbing Fly Kites  Wings and Waves  Albany Water Park  Service THD Kids Clinic  Sleep outside Gilbert House  OMSI Berry Picking Zoo Fishing Saturday Market Beach Trip Sleepovers Picnics Kite Flying Bike Rides Summer Reading Program  Daily Walks

 Scripture Study Shortcake Slurpees  

We did pretty well with last year's list, and many favorites have been carried over to this years list, things like trips to the water park, berry picking and sleepovers.  There were also some things we didn't get to last year that will definitely be a high priority as we plan our summer, such as crabbing and Wings and Waves.  There are some new items too, like service to others and a trip to the Saturday Market that have made the agenda.

One thing that I definitely wanted to keep on the list but that needed some reworking was the summer reading program at our public library.  It quite honestly just didn't work for us.  The number of times we were able to get there didn't always jive with their contests, and the kids weren't overly thrilled with the cheap canvas bag that was their reward for reading all summer. This year, I am going to make my own summer reading program, complete with goals and rewards that better suit our family's schedules and interests.

Planning our summer will need to be a little more strategic this year, with so much more to schedule around, but it's all the more reason to plan intentionally.

My Reading List

This is my most recent stack of have-reads - a pretty good stack top to bottom.  I thoroughly enjoyed all of them and the best part?  I really felt like I "got something" from each one of them, whether it was inspiration, validation, or education.  (The Hunger Games books don't really fall into one of those categories, but I LOVED all 3 of them, and read them in about 4 days).

Since changing the way I choose reading material, the criteria I now judge my reading selections by has served me well.  I have started some books and made the decision not to finish them for various reasons, and I was totally okay with it.  I have learned a lot, and haven't once felt like I was wasting what precious reading time I have reading fluff.  I have been entertained while I learned, inspired while I cried, and motivated to change my perspective.

Chalk this one up as a measurable success in my intentional journey.

Next up on my reading list?  So many books...  I'm currently carrying this little cutie in my planner to capture titles I want to read:

It's been super handy to jot down book titles and authors as I find them in articles, on the Internet, or as they are recommended by friends and family.  They're all in listed in one place and when I am at the library it's easy to pull it out and pick one off the list.

My next book purchase - and I don't make many - is this:

I am excited about a new set of scriptures and the opportunity to mark them like an adult.  The set I got for my baptism gift some 30 years ago were colored and underlined with child-like gusto.  My seminary set has entire pages wrinkled in the old "scripture mastery" fashion.  I will always keep these sets, and enjoy watching my littles carry them to church until they get their own, but I'm ready for a big girl set. With these new scriptures, I hope to do more studying with my reading, and notate them in an intelligent, useful fashion.

Here's to a summer of good reads!

Inspiration 05.22.2012

Storms make trees take deeper root.

~Dolly Parton

Inspiration 05.17.2012

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.

~Ann Landers

Journey

It's been nearly a year since I started my journey of living a more intentional life, and over 8 months since I launched my blog to chart my efforts.  I spent an evening this week reading back through my blog, almost in it's entirety.   The numbers in parenthesis below total the number of posts on each given topic, as of today, and it's easy to see where my focus has been for the last 8 months.  There are also definitely some areas that have small numbers because I legitimately haven't put much of a priority on them.  

• Cooking (1)
• Decorating (4)
• Family time (9)
• Fitness (1)
• Holidays (6)
• Inspiration (21)
• miscellaneous (3)
• Moments (6)
• Organization (12)
• Photography (2)
• Prayer (2)
• Reading (5)
• Service to Others (1)
• Sewing (2)
• Testimony (4)
• Traditions (8)
• what matters most (9)
• Writing (12)

It wasn't surprising when I noticed that the majority of my focus over the last several months has been on my kids and organizing - they're two things I love, and it's very natural and easy for me to commit time and effort in those areas.  I want to spend time with my babies and I enjoy simplifying our home, and journaling the process is fun.  Ditto for things like reading and writing, and while the tally marks don't represent it, photography has been a big part of my journey thus far as well.  I may not have written about it, but I have spent a lot of time taking pictures for practice, for posts, for fun.  Photography could easily have a much higher number behind it, as nearly each post on here has been accompanied by a photo I have taken, often specifically for the topic.  Writing also could have a hash mark for each entry I've logged since September.  

So where does that leave me with the rest of my list?  Definitely still in need of work, but I'm so okay with that.  If I have learned one thing in this process so far, and what I was reminded of while I re-read each post, is that I am happier living this way.  I am happier putting the effort in to making my life have purpose, in creating a well spring of memories for my kids, and creating a happier, more harmonious home for my husband and family.  While I haven't placed equal attention on every category on my list, it doesn't mean I won't, and I would have to rate my first year of intentionally living a success, if only because I am trying.  

Each time I write a post, take a picture, stop to appreciate my husband and kids, find inspiration in a book or a quote, a sunset or a moment, I am intentionally focusing my mind on the things that are important to me.  I like that.  And while my audience may be small, I'm okay with that, too.  I write mostly for me, and in maintaining this blog, I have found it makes me view my day to day life with a more purposeful mind.